The following is a recording of a conversation between Dr. Enoch Thompson and Reverend Doug Kaisen.
Filmed at the semi-annual Academic Anomalous Christianities Conference located at Site Γ-33, Dr. Enoch Thompson discusses the contents of the New Testament with Reverend Doug Kaisen. A live translator is present to interpret Reverend Kaisen's Italian, and Latin, which he uses when quoting the Bible, as well as translate Dr. Thompson to Reverend Kaisen.
<TRANSCRIPT BEGINS>
DR. ENOCH THOMPSON: Alright. (The microphone is tapped.) This thing— Yeah. It's on. Alright, Doug, mind trying yours?
(Rev. Kaisen taps the microphone with a claw.)
DR. ENOCH THOMPSON: Wonderful! Alright, so me and the Reverend here are going to be discussing the New Testament and anything else that crops up around it. This isn't a debate. I already did one of those at this conference. We're just gonna have a nice discussion on it.
REV. DOUG KAISEN: May I?
DR. ENOCH THOMPSON: Of course. The floor is yours, Reverend.
REV. DOUG KAISEN: Firstly, I feel I must thank the Lord for bringing me here to be able to attend such a wonderful event as this. I much appreciate Dr. Thompson for inviting me to have such a conversation with him as well. I would first like to begin with an issue very close to me. In Acts 15:20, we are told to abstain from blood in consumption. Now, it is not blood itself that is my topic now, but the things of which we make from the blood of the deceased— Gasoline, oil. We dig up these resources and let our machinery consume and consume them. I believe that this is against Scripture, and we should work toward renewable energy sources, because while it is consuming a forbidden substance nigh gluttonously, it also tears away at the world that he created for us.
(Claps can be heard from the audience.)
DR. ENOCH THOMPSON: Now, I've gotta know, how's it feel having employment at the only organization with a manuscript collection to rival the Vatican?
REV. DOUG KAISEN: It is… interesting. I have heard whispers of a project that you are being assigned to, Dr. Thompson.
DR. ENOCH THOMPSON: Oh, yeah. They found some Koine Greek manuscripts and they're calling me and a few others in. I'd be lucky if it was anything more than a copy of the Didache. Didn't even give us a dating for the manuscripts, so I'm in the dark there.
REV. DOUG KAISEN: I see. At least they still have the manuscripts with which to read. I eagerly await your next publishing.