9kcon But All The Titles Are Godawful

1. The Prison System is Bad by J.J. Abrams
2. Uzumaki-Lite by SD Card, Croquette, and Math Nerd
3. How My School Did Fire Evacuation by Super Mega Ultra Lesbian
4. Fresh Prince of Alagadda by Dysadron THESE NUTS
5. Pizza Fetish by freaky
6. The Bike That Makes You Unfunny by 19cord User
7. Curtains by Harold Blankathon, Spacefucker McDicktorate, and Third Wheel
8. Should Have Been A Comic by White Name
9. You Thought This Would Be HaHa LOLRandom Humor? Wrong! I Torture People Now! by Crazy Dave
10. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by Sweaty Sock
11. How SportsCon Can Still Win by international straight ancap
12. MURICA by Nico Nico Niii
13. Yakub’s Wet Dream by Third Law Author, CSS Nerd, and superpooper
14. Ohhh Please Have Mercy on Me, Take It Easy On My Heart by Shawn Mendes
15. Ugh Why Is SCP Woke by Woke Author #18284722636162616262
16. I Don’t Really Have a Joke for This One, so Here’s This Instead: It Fucking Sucks How Abusers and Child Predators Can Get Away With It All by Steel Shears Are Better
17. Still Better Than Fox News by Gregory Kaplin
18. This Wiki Sucks FrFr by New Jersey Seagull (The Worst)
19. The Sandlot 4 by not a dj or a cactus
20. World’s Worst Roadtrip by Dragon—Writes, buttsecks1999, and The Mask
21. Church of My Broken Cock by Doctor Coommerian
22. George of the Jungle by Bad Ideas Everywhere
23. How Is This Not Third Law by Birmingham
24. Where Worldbuilding is Vast and Dense by RectumNavigator and SPACEEEE
25. 8980 AGAIN! by Not Yossipossi
26. A Brooding Taste for Voluptuous Ass by Oi Mate Where’s My Damn Tim Tams
27. Operation Sugma; or, how I Stopped Worrying about World War II Documentaries and Love my Balls by Third Law Author
28. Tolkien’s Got Nothing On This by Radical
29. A New Proper Antimemetics Article by It’s Been Years
30. Something Something National Parks Something Something Fascism by bigsockonmyface (ha, you thought!)
31. This One’s Got Zoroastrianism In It, so There’s That by History Nerd
32. Werewolves! Building! Werewolfbuilding! by FaunaSanitarium
33. EVERYONE IS HERE by hardsealsareinyourarea
34. How It Feels To Chew Five Gum by Aftoes
35. CAPITAL LETTERS & ADMO FORMATTING by PointedHillsETC
36. The MiddleOfTheRoadMan by wack
37. Why Is This Trying To Make Real Estate Agents Look Good by OogaBooga
38. Something About Climate Change I Think by uhhhhhh
39. Beanie Babies as an SCP by My Sister Would Love That Actually
40. I Know What Anomaly Means Because I Can Read A Dictionary by 👴🏻
41. Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirate’s Life For Me by Emulating is Based
42. Soft White End The Joke Now Before I Get Banned by BigPP
43. You Would Not Be Able To Tell That This Is Adapting The Three Little Pigs by GravelLicker
44. The Contents Would Have Been Verified If People Weren’t Just Fucking Stupid by NotAnActualCrow
45. Super Clever Protocol for Making a Title, Totally by Another Math Nerd (?)
46. It’s Just A Little Guy by Comical Sans
47. These Are Nacho Ordinary Mice by Aryan
48. All Eyes On Me by Remember Lolly? I remember Lolly.
49. Another Article About Climate Change by Can You Guys Please Stick to Different Things
50. Woman Who’s Gay by A Very Passionate Himedanshi
51. The Obligatory Pataphysics Article by Did I Scare You Away Yet?
52. 2Niche4Me by Capital G Gamer
53. Can Someone Cut These Flowers PLEASE by I Can’t Get Them To Shut The Fuck Up
54. CYBERREAGAN by Eh I’ve Seen Weirder
55. There Is A Dublin City Metro, It Came Free With Your Racism by Bad_Apple
56. Author Avatar Cameo Fest by The Reisno Cannon
57. Surrealistics Again by Scream If You Love Poland
58. Rich Bitch Witch Flitch Ditch Hitch Wait What Was I Saying by Atlas Who Somehow Hasn’t Shrugged Yet
59. 1600s Spain Would Be Like That by Not A Greek Philosopher
60. The Other Pirate Article by DumDumGiveMeGumGum
61. 8008 Again by I Am Beginning to See A Pattern Here
62. Barely Anything In This Involves Trees by Saunderanceanceance
63. Too On The Nose by Dumbass Who Thinks He’s Good At Writing
64. Self Portrait of My Ugly Ass by How Did An Opossum Get Internet Connection?
65. Listpages Galore by Containment Breach Enjoyer
66. Telepaths Aren’t Pyrokinetic Silly by Third Law Author
67. What About The Sons Though? by MeriEnjoyer and I Didn’t Know Nico’s Dog Could Write
68. The Foundation Are Actually Gamers by automaticidentificationsystemmallard
69. ClassicCon Was Months Ago by Little Late There
70. THE OLD by Free Palestine
71. Running on My Treadmill by Savitar from that one CW Show
72. An Intro for Another Random Ass Foundation Department by Ace Solidarity Hell Yeah
73. The Montauk Hydraulic Press by Sorry Frank but IDK What Happens in the Article since I Couldn’t Finish It
74. THE VERY LONG ARTICLE by & & Bibliography
75. Flesh to Wood by Get Harder Not Smarter
76. The Swollen Case of the Lumps by d4vd
77. Which Memeticist? by You Gotta Make It Less Vague At Least
78. Anime Titties by Ah I See, You Are A Person of Culture As Well
79. The Foundation Sure Is Cracked At Their Jobs by How The Hell Do I Spell Your Name
80. Industry Standard by Industry Standard (it’s too perfect not to change)
81. Hey, I’ve Seen This CI Origin Before by What Do You Mean, It’s Brand New!
82. I Talk To The Wind by Go White Boy Go
83. 096 Again by Spider_Chelicerae
84. True Length by 67
85. Look, it’s Saturn Deer! by Who The Hell Is Saturn Deer?
86. My Wood In Your World ;‑) by Third Law Author and Third Law Authors
87. La Casa de Asterión by Jorge Luis Borges
88. The Salps Have Eyes by frozenCockBlock
89. This Could Be An Actual Evangelist Church and I Would Believe It by fairies can be doctors too, we don’t discriminate
90. Unironic Usage of Popular Series One Cameos in the Year 2025 by ILIKEPURPLE and TrashOrganizer
91. How It Should’ve Ended if They Made A Video on the Charlie Kirk Assassination by derp
92. Last Man On Earth by Will Forte
93. Would You Fuck Your Doppelgänger? Serious Question by Boobiesnout
94. The Price of Writing An OC by AO3-Coded
95. If The Title Is Still Pending, Then Where The Hell Is It? by I’m Waiting
96. Fast and Furious if It Was Good by Kill_Eskobar
97. The 50000000th Article About The Foundation’s Morality by OrtothanStan
98. Dawn of Mediocre by Not a Doctor Unless You Have a PhD for Proof
99. It Came From Stilted-Land by Emperor Zurg
100. Wandering and Wandering by They Sure Are Wandering
101. Normal Good, Weird Bad by The SCP Foundation
102. Actually There Is More Than One House in New Orleans by sprawlinganalflaps
103. What Is This, The Matrix? by Not The Wachowski Sisters
104. Phone Bad by Geriatric Grandpa
105. Josie 2.0 by Who?
106. What Is Even Happening Here by ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
107. The Power of Kindness Saves The Day by Yossipossi
108. Black Hole Sun, Won’t You Come by DappleBappleSnappleBapletosaur
109. The Meta Article by Daring Today, Aren’t We?
110. You Will Neverland Any Bitches by Hesiod
111. The Mad Lad’s Tomb of Doom by You’re One Number Off, 8k was Fantasy
112. When A Title Falls Flat On Its Face… by MurderMonstersAreCool005
113. Hotel Transylvania by Haha Jonathan You Are Banging My Daughter
114. The Mab and The Not F120A by WhoreOfBloodIsNotHazbinHotel
115. How Chuds Think Greta Thunberg Does Activism by Shirley You Can’t Be Serious
116. CORPSEBALLING by Soph :3
117. The need to only have one word in the title with capitalization by Searching Harriet Farrar Gave Me Pictures of Old Women
118. That Tree Is Licking Its Lips For Me by CocoMelon
119. So Much Metaphysics by Holy Shit That Was A Lot of Jargon
120. Cessation of Anything Normal About A Calendar Year by Imagine Being Born On A Leap Day
121. I Screamed After Realizing That This Is An ARG by These Never Work On The Wiki
122. Walls of Descriptions of Events by Searching Zoe Paws Brought Me to an Almost NSFW Twitter Profile
123. Avengers: Endgame If It Was Good by Hikaru Nakamura
124. The Guy Who Likes Musicals A Little Too Much by Theater Kids Would Cream Over This
125. Remember, Remember The 5th of November by Yeah It’s Not Remotely Related but V for Vendetta Is Such A Good Film
126. Tree of Florid Prose by If Flowers = Prose, This Tree Has Lots of Flowers
127. The SCP Database by Get It?
128. Statue That Causes Controversy by Fix Your Hearts or Die
129. A Velociraptor Wears A Cocktail Dress in This, I Am Not Kidding by Pinocchio
130. Mother Knows Best by ironmouse and ARandomDay
131. Stairway to Heaven by Never Play That Song in a Guitar Shop if You Want To Live
132. Ironically This Feels Unfinished by LePlante Oui Oui
133. Cotard’s Syndrome but It’s Anomalous Actually by You Ain’t Slick
134. Giving My Heart Out to the Crowd by Elon Musk
135. The Disjointed Article Still Lives by Chinga Tú Madre
136. Grim Grinning Ghosts by This Guy’s Name Sounds Like How I Cough
137. Even More Ants by How Many of These Are There?
138. Weird Things Happen Here I Guess by Jack Shit
139. I Don’t Even Remember How the Title is Related to the Rest of This by BlueEyesWhiteDragon
140. Meditations in Beef by alexdiflip, alexdifloop
141. There’s a Melodramatic-Shaped Hole in this SCP by It’s Dry Enough to Dehydrate Me
142. Coding Central by Programmers Rise Up
143. Dry as the Sahara Desert by Am I Reading a Research Paper or an SCP Article
144. I Knew Chris Stole My Lunch by Get Your Own Lunch Next Time!
145. Ok So What If Time Weird but It Normal by Unresolved
146. 7000 Again by Wettle If He Was A Non-Character
147. Worldbuilding Disease by Kill Your Darlings for Once
148. Administrative Incompetence by The Administrator is Literally Dying How Are You Saying He’s Competent
149. Powerscaler by That Would Explain The Characters Acting Like Children
150. Worn Out by Any T-Shirt in a Thrift Store
151. Fun Fact: I Don’t Use An Alarm Clock To Wake Up by Skill Issue For Everyone Else
152. SCP-9000 - “My Name?” by Actual Title By The Way
153. O This Is Confusing! by Scratching My Head Rn
154. The Goose Should Be More Of A Threat, This Is Misleading by RatsRatsWeAreTheRats
155. The Syphilis Paintings by Tuskegee Experiment
156. 17+ 50 = Funny by I’m Too Old For This Shit
157. What If We Made Islam Anomalous by Test Logs, Test Logs Everywhere
158. I Would Rather Visit An Actual Museum Than Read This by COSI Is Close, I Can Go There